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After all, 50 years ago in many states it was still illegal for us to marry anyone who was not also black. Although race relations are still far from perfect, I acknowledge the steps toward inclusion that we’ve made.

Nevertheless, I still feel that, by not dating black men, I’m neglecting the shared history, solidarity and future prosperity of my fellow people.

As I skimmed my eyes across the rows of boxes, I landed on what I was looking for: a jumbo box of Rice Krispies. I turned around and saw a handsome black man waiting patiently, with a cart full of groceries and a warm smile that briefly invigorated my tired spirit after a long day of work. This encounter was nothing unusual; I frequently have similar encounters with strangers at the grocery store.

He was wearing a professional outfit, leather dress shoes and a brown wool houndstooth coat with the collar popped. However, as I strolled past this man’s cart full of baby wipes, pullup diapers, fresh fruit and his own box of Rice Krispies, I felt an immense amount of guilt.

I wondered how men with such delicate bodies seemed to be the only ones who could endure the storm. We bought crop tops, tight jeans, and earrings so big that they touched our shoulders.

When my cousin on the all-black side birthed a baby girl whose father had become abusive, we took a long ride to a shopping mall. On the ride home we were quiet and I decided I would never date a black man as long as my feet touched this earth.

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Police said the victim was “hanging out” when a third suspect, Rodney Cooper, 32, forced her into a room and locked the door.

Cooper kept guard while Fedrick and Gordon allegedly attacked her.

The woman said that they told her, “We’re going to teach you a lesson about dating a black man and white [women] don’t mean [expletive] in this town.” When the alleged attack was over, they told her that they would “make it ten times worse next time” if she filed a police report.

I resented those comments, believing that my love should not be bound to the color of my skin or anyone else’s.

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